Inside Empire – Quality Todd!

Quality Control with Todd: An Exclusive Look at the Inner Workings of Empire Labs

by Dr. Claus

Todd has been working with Empire Labs for five years, since the summer of 2004. He loves working at Empire because every day brings new challenges and surprises. I had to agree with him after I saw his finger garden. It’s basically a garden made out of the exact replicas of the fingers of his co-workers. Todd laughs as he shows it to me. “How many people can say they made a finger garden at work?” Todd is in charge of customer service and quality testing at Empire. He lives in Portland, OR with his beautiful wife, rambunctious dog, and two lazy cats.

Todd's finger garden

What do you do here?

I’m the head of the customer service department, and I do quality control testing for our molding powder and liquid rubber.

What is quality control testing?

There are two main components in our cloning kits: liquid rubber and molding powder. These allow people to create life-like replicas of their penises or vaginas. The quality control testing is to make sure that the components in the kits are consistently working the way they’re supposed to. There are also kits that allow people to replicate their privates with chocolate, soap, and candle wax, and I test those kits, too.

What are you checking for, exactly?

Basically, I’m making sure that the set time and temperature for the molding powder matches the instructions. It should set in between 2-3 minutes. If it doesn’t, I know there’s a problem. It’s a problem if it sets too quickly or not quickly enough.

I also check the liquid rubber. Once I’ve cast the mold with the molding powder, I wait 2 hours and pour out the water that’s collected in the bottom of the mold. Then, I mix the liquid rubber, pour it in the mold, let it set, and pull it out. I’m looking to make sure the rubber comes out properly. I basically want to make sure it’s not too sticky, or that it’s not still liquid after I’ve let it set for a day.

What is molding powder?

It’s a specially formulated powder that forms a solid cast when combined with a specific temperature of water after a specific amount of time. The temperature and timing are crucial for it to work properly.

What is liquid rubber?

Liquid rubber is a highly-specialized, organic thermoset polymer that is actually much safer than many of the adult toys currently on the market due to its stability when cured. It resists break down even when exposed to silicone or petroleum based lubricants, heat, cold, or other extremes. The polymer used in the Clone-A-Willy is very similar to what is currently being used in condoms and in the bags that enclose silicone in breast implants.

What is the process of checking the materials for quality?

I grab the kit I want to test, and follow the steps of the casting process, just as a customer would. Ultimately, the point of quality checking is to ensure that the customer has a good experience with the kit and can easily achieve successful results that they’re happy with.

How often do you do quality control checks?

I do checks for each new batch of molding powder and liquid rubber that we get, or once every two weeks—whichever one is more frequent.

Why is quality control important?

It’s important that we don’t send out bad products. We want our Clone-A-Willy kit to be easy to use and for our customers to be satisfied with the results. Because our materials are highly specialized and very sensitive to temperature, we want to ensure consistent timing, quality, and casting process. We also want to ensure that our molding powder has consistent set times, too, because that’s the trickiest part of cloning a willy. It’s important that the set times of the molding powder are consistent so that you have time to get situated in the mold and don’t have to maintain an erection for too long waiting for the gel to set.

What is your idea of a perfect quality dildo?

I’m looking for realistic skin tone, and that there are no wrinkles or fingerprints on the dildo. I’m also making sure that there are no air bubbles, dimples, or pimples. Basically, a dildo that is life-like and free of blemishes is the perfect quality dildo.

What kinds of problems have you come across?

We really haven’t come across many problems over the years. There was one time when we were dealing with a new molding powder supplier and the first couple of batches had issues with timing and setup time. The molding powder was setting too quickly. But we caught that before it went into production and sent it back for a replacement. The liquid rubber has always been consistent.

What do you do if materials don’t pass the test?

We contact the manufacturer and let them know about the problem. Then, we send it back and they replace it. It’s only happened once.

What’s your favorite Empire Labs product?

The Clone-A-Willy, because I know it’s the best product out there of its kind. It’s our best seller and I get the most questions about the Clone-A-Willy. I’m the most familiar with it, too.

How many times have you used the Clone-A-Willy over your career?

Oh, I’ve probably used it between 150 to 200 times.

What body parts have you cloned with the Clone-A-Willy?

Well, obviously my willy. But, other than that, I’ve done my fingers, hands, even my face. I made a finger garden out of clones of different people’s fingers.

A finger garden? Yeah, I planted some moss in a bowl, and then put people’s fingers in there, kind of like flesh trees.

And you say you cloned your face, too?

Yep. I did it for a Halloween costume. I went as an executioner, you know, with a cloth mask over my face. I needed a severed head to carry around with me.

Executioner costume mask