You know those little 5 inch vibes that come in the Clone A Willy kit? I had one of those from back when I used to throw Pleasure Parties for years. My husband and I were just dating back then and we were in the bedroom getting all hot and heavy. He was on top of me and we were going at it with the vibe, well, you know, you gotta make sure that battery cap is screwed on tight! We found out the hard way! We were going at it and that cap popped right off! It hit the wall so hard, the cap, battery and spring, that it sounded like a gun went off in our room! We had to turn on the lights to find all the pieces to make sure the dog wouldn’t eat them. Needless to say, we were cracking up so hard it ruined the mood.
Another time, my when my son was a teenager, you know how teenagers get? They get all nosy and snoopy. Well, he and his friends found my shoebox of toys. I came home from work and they had put my Classix Rabbit Pearl in the refrigerator! I was walking by and I heard this buzzing sound, and I opened the refrigerator and there was my rabbit ON in the fridge! That rabbit lasted me 14 years. When it finally died, I thought I’d try out one of those Dolphin vibrators, but it burned up in a few weeks! I guess it just couldn’t handle me!
And my last story. I use one of those massaging mitts on my husband and one day I had him so lubed up with massage oil that when he went to the bathroom, he slid right off the toilet and got stuck, naked, between the wall and the toilet. I could hear him from the other room, “I don’t want to die like Elvis!”